How to Get Unstuck: Even When You’re Tired, Lost, or Done Trying

My mom grew up on a farm. But let's call it what it really was—a plantation. She wasn't planting flowers; she was picking cotton with bare hands, from sunrise until sundown. Her life was work, plain and simple. And it wasn’t the kind of work that leaves room for dreams. It was survival. Stuck wasn't a feeling she could afford—it was her daily reality.

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My dad was raised on 110 acres of farmland that belonged to his father. I imagine he had big dreams tucked away somewhere behind those tired eyes, dreams of doing something different, something more. But those dreams got buried deep beneath chores, responsibilities, and endless days that started before dawn and ended long after the stars had claimed the night sky. Dreams became luxuries, easily forgotten, left behind in fields of obligation.

My siblings and I, we’re the seeds of those hard-working, dream-sacrificing people. Folks who had to focus so hard on the present that their future stayed just out of reach. I want you to sit with this question: How many of y’all reading this right now feel just like them—stuck in the moment, weighed down by responsibilities, and too tired or too busy to even think about moving forward?

Listen to me clearly, because I’ve lived it. Not having a plan—or worse, not having the time or energy to even dream up a plan—is real. It’s a burden, heavy and relentless. But recognizing that burden? That’s the first step toward breaking free. You aren’t alone, and you’re not stuck forever. Trust me—I’ve seen what comes after the struggle, and it starts right here, right now, by facing the truth head-on.

The first part of my life spent feeling stuck was about blaming everybody but me. Listen, if blame were a currency, I'd have been a rich man, 'cause I passed it out freely. Mom, Dad, brothers, sisters, friends—anybody who crossed paths with me caught the heat. Teachers, preachers, politicians, the folks back in Ferriday—heck, give me enough time, and I'd find a way to blame it on the rain too. Not one single thing was ever my fault, at least that's what I convinced myself.

Let me tell you something real: things in life don't just happen to you; they happen for you or because of you. Good, bad, or ugly—every situation you face is there to teach you something. Those tough moments? Those are the ones where clarity comes calling. They're invitations to rise above, gain perspective, and find growth in places you'd least expect.

Understand this: each challenge holds within it a vision. Your job isn't just to endure it but to uncover what it came to teach you. No moment is wasted if you're willing to learn. When you stop blaming and start owning, that's the day you start truly living. That's the day you turn stuck into stepping stones.

Your legacy won’t be defined by what happened to you, but by how you responded to it. Choose growth over blame every single time.

There's an old saying I heard all my life: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result." Now, let me be real with you—I've lived that insanity. I spent years caught in the loop of generational habits, handed down like an unwanted inheritance, generation after generation. I was stuck living life as it came, dealing with circumstances instead of setting a strategy to break free.

What does that mean exactly? It meant I worked myself to exhaustion because that’s all I knew. Hard work was the family legacy; grinding day in and day out, believing if I just kept pushing, things would eventually improve. And sometimes they did—briefly. But just as soon as I’d glimpse a little sunshine, Murphy’s law would come knocking, tapping me right on the shoulder, saying, "Not so fast." Man, I'd find myself shouting to the heavens, "God, why me? I go to church. I do right. I keep my nose clean. Why me?"

Here's the clarity I wish I'd found sooner: the issue was never what happened to me—it was my lack of vision beyond simply surviving the moment. Like my parents before me, I was caught in a cycle, working hard but never moving forward. Instead of crying "Why me?", I should have been saying "Thank you, God"—thank you for this lesson, thank you for this clarity, thank you for the opportunity to learn, grow, and strategize.

Every setback, every hardship is an invitation to step back, reassess, and plan. The secret to breaking free isn’t found by focusing on how far your dreams seem but by taking small, intentional steps forward. Growth doesn't happen in leaps—it comes in steady, purposeful strides. Every small step is a victory. Every inch forward is progress.

Listen, the journey isn't about avoiding struggle—it's about learning from it, building on it, and refusing to stay stuck in it. Take each moment as it comes, plan carefully, and move deliberately. Never overstep the lesson of the moment, because those lessons are your stepping stones to freedom.

Your legacy will be built on how you moved forward, one thoughtful step at a time. Keep stepping.

John Locke once said something powerful: “Men always forget that human happiness is a disposition of mind and not a condition of circumstances.” Let me break that down plainly—it means that even when life strips away everything we hold dear, our true power lies in the mindset we carry forward. Our greatest strength as humans is our resilience, but leaning only on that strength can sometimes become our weakness.

I spent many years stuck, fighting life head-on, just surviving. Surviving, but not truly living. I thought resilience meant working harder, grinding longer, pushing until I had nothing left to give. When I realized the grind alone wasn’t the answer, I began a deeper journey inward, searching for something more strategic, something sustainable. From that struggle, clarity emerged, and the Circle of Growth was born—my life's work, laid out step by step for anyone ready to break free and grow:

Self-Awareness: You’ve got to know your pain points—understand what you’re carrying and where it's coming from. Awareness is the first step to freedom.
Courage: Face the truths about yourself head-on. Not to judge, but to learn and grow from them.
Humility: Shift your mindset from “Why me?” to “Thank you for this lesson.” Gratitude transforms burden into strength.
Integrity: Stand firm in your values and live your mission consistently, even when nobody’s watching.
Empathy: Use your journey to empower others. Invite them into your vision and give them space to grow alongside you.
Learning: Regularly measure your progress. Small wins matter—validate each step forward to maintain clarity and motivation.
Execution: Move intentionally and consistently. Discipline is your guide—take careful, small steps forward rather than reckless leaps.

This is how the Circle of Growth becomes a lived reality:

“I am growth in motion. I lead with vision, walk with values, and live on mission. I face the truth within me, not to judge it—but to rise from it. I choose courage over comfort, clarity over chaos, and character over convenience. I stand in humility, learn with intention, and execute with discipline. I am not here to chase success—I am here to build it, shape it, and multiply it. Because leadership starts with me—but it never ends with me. This is the Circle of Growth. And I move in it with purpose.”

Understand this deeply: Your struggle isn’t your enemy—it’s your greatest teacher. When you stop merely reacting and start strategizing, every setback becomes a stepping stone toward your legacy. How you rise, respond, and reshape your path—that’s what defines you. That is how you move forward with purpose.

If you’re feeling stuck right now—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—know this deeply: it’s real, but it’s not permanent. Being stuck is a season, not a life sentence. It can feel as if the whole world is racing forward while you’re frozen in time, trapped in uncertainty. But understand this crucial truth: this moment doesn’t define your entire story unless you choose to stay anchored in place.

Real growth begins the moment you stop performing for everyone else and start admitting your truth to yourself. The masks you wear, the illusions you maintain, the strong fronts you put on—they’re all part of a survival strategy. Survival has its place, but now you’re called toward strategy, intention, and genuine growth. Authenticity isn’t weakness; it’s the raw strength required to face the truth.

So how exactly do we move from this stuck place into purposeful forward momentum?

Step One: Unearth the Root
You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge. The first courageous step is pinpointing exactly what has you stuck. Is it exhaustion from constantly pushing beyond your limits? Is it fear of failure or rejection? Are you overwhelmed by invisible expectations that others place on you—or worse, expectations you unfairly place on yourself? Identify clearly what paralyzes you. Sit with it. Name it. Claim it. Only by acknowledging it can you begin to loosen its grip.
Step Two: Shift Your Perspective
Your past is a teacher, not a tyrant. Every setback, every heartbreak, every disappointment holds a lesson uniquely designed for you. Reframe your story. Instead of seeing these past struggles as insurmountable walls, see them as windows offering new insights and clearer visions. Ask yourself: What did this experience come to teach me? What new opportunity or understanding lies hidden beneath this pain?
Step Three: Initiate Action
Momentum never comes from standing still, hoping for rescue. You create your momentum through action—any action. Make it small and manageable, but purposeful. Wake up a bit earlier and give yourself quiet space. Write down one new idea, one positive affirmation, or remove one negative habit from your daily routine. Each small act sparks new life, shaking loose the rust of stagnation. Movement builds momentum; momentum breeds change.
Step Four: Release and Forgive
Holding onto unforgiveness, perfectionism, or the need for absolute certainty will chain you to your past and cripple your present. Let go of what cannot be changed. Forgive others—and forgive yourself. This isn’t surrender; it’s liberation. It’s recognizing that growth and peace cannot coexist with bitterness or resentment. What you can’t change must become a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.
Step Five: Set Immediate, Tangible Goals
You don’t need an elaborate five-year plan right now; you need clarity for today, tomorrow, this week. Choose one goal you can accomplish quickly—a single, achievable step toward reclaiming control over your life. This small, clear goal will prove that progress is possible, providing you immediate, encouraging feedback that you’re moving in the right direction.
Step Six: Intentional Growth
This journey is no longer about merely surviving—it’s about thriving. Intentional growth requires deliberate decisions every day. Make growth a priority, a habit, a mindset. Choose opportunities that challenge you to evolve, engage with new experiences that open your perspective, and surround yourself with people who inspire you toward greater heights. Every choice made with intention deepens your sense of purpose.

Why We Remain Stuck (And How to Break Free):
We often stay trapped because we struggle with:
Burnout and cognitive overload: Exhaustion clouds judgment, draining our ability to envision a way out.
Self-sabotage: Deep-seated fears and insecurities subtly sabotage our progress.
Unmanaged mental health issues: Depression, anxiety, and trauma create emotional quicksand that must be addressed and managed.
Lack of clear vision: Without clear goals and a defined \"why,\" forward momentum is nearly impossible.
Limited support: Isolation magnifies feelings of helplessness, emphasizing the need for trusted connections.
Perfectionism: The relentless pursuit of flawlessness blocks genuine progress and creates paralysis by analysis.
Emotional conflicts: Struggling between personal truth and external expectations creates emotional turmoil and indecision.
Resistance to change: Fear of uncertainty can lock us into familiar yet unhealthy patterns, preventing growth.

Hear this clearly: each one of these barriers can be overcome. You are neither powerless nor broken—you are simply standing at the intersection of what has been and what could become. You hold within yourself the potential to move beyond this moment.
The only way out is through. So begin—take that first brave step. Even if you have to crawl, even if you move slowly, don’t stay stuck. Your path forward is illuminated, and your next step has your name written clearly upon it.
Your story is still being written. Keep turning the pages.

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