Theodore Teddy Bear Schiele

Often overshadowed by the crises of midlife or the turbulence of adolescence, this period is arguably the most transformative of them all. Labelled the “Make You, Break You” phase, it spans from ages 18 to 25 and sets the trajectory for the rest of one’s life.

Why This Stage is Pivotal

During these formative years, an individual undergoes tremendous changes – leaving home, pursuing higher education, joining the workforce, or even starting a family. Choices made during this period, consciously or unconsciously, lay the foundation for one’s future, be it as a drug addict or a mechanical engineer.

1. Recognizing the Impact of Peer Influence

It’s commonly understood that peers have a significant influence during teenage years, but the truth is, their influence doesn’t wane as we step into adulthood. It merely transforms. The people you choose to surround yourself with during this period can either elevate you or drag you down.

The concept of peer influence is not new. From childhood to adolescence, peers play a vital role in shaping our opinions, behaviors, and overall worldview. But as we transition into the critical years between 18 and 25, this influence, rather than diminishing, evolves in depth and complexity.

The Evolution of Peer Influence:

  1. Surface-level Influence to Deep-rooted Impact:
    • Teenage Years: Peer influence often revolves around trends – the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, and the hobbies we take up.
    • Adulthood: It becomes more profound. It dictates not just our choices but our values, beliefs, and life priorities. An individual’s circle can influence career decisions, financial habits, and even life partners.
  2. Temporary Desires to Long-term Goals:
    • Teenage Years: The need for immediate gratification often dictates choices.
    • Adulthood: Influence revolves around long-term aspirations, such as settling down, choosing a career path, or investing money.

Why Peer Influence is so Strong during 18-25:

  1. Search for Identity: As young adults move away from their families, they tend to lean on peers for a sense of belonging and to forge their unique identities.
  2. Shared Experiences: These years are often filled with ‘firsts’ – first job, first serious relationship, first experience living away from home. Sharing these with peers creates deep bonds and mutual influences.
  3. Navigating Challenges Together: The challenges faced during this period, like choosing a career path or dealing with the intricacies of adult relationships, are often navigated with the guidance and influence of peers.

How Peers Can Elevate or Derail Your Journey:

  1. Elevation through Inspiration: Surrounding oneself with ambitious and positive-minded individuals can lead to a heightened sense of motivation, a broader perspective on life, and a constant push towards self-improvement.
  2. Derailment through Negativity: On the flip side, peers who indulge in constant negativity, toxic behaviors, or detrimental habits can impact one’s mental well-being and life choices. Falling into a cycle of groupthink with such peers can stagnate personal growth.

Recognizing and Mitigating Negative Peer Influence:

  1. Self-awareness: Regularly assess your feelings and behaviors. Are you making choices based on what you genuinely want or merely following the herd?
  2. Open Dialogue: Engage in open conversations with your peers. Understand their perspectives but also assert your boundaries and beliefs.
  3. Diversify Your Circle: Engage with people from different backgrounds, age groups, and experiences. This diversity can provide a balanced view of life and prevent undue influence from any single group.

While peers are an integral part of our life’s journey, especially during the transformative years between 18 and 25, it’s crucial to be discerning. Recognizing the nuances of peer influence and ensuring it aligns with one’s personal growth trajectory is vital for a fulfilling life journey.


  • Evaluate your friendships. Are they fostering growth or holding you back?
  • Seek out mentors. Individuals who’ve been where you are and have achieved what you aspire to can provide invaluable guidance.

2. Developing Good Habits

As you transition from adolescence to young adulthood, old habits may not serve you anymore. It’s essential to build routines that align with your goals.

Developing Good Habits: A Transition from Adolescence to Adulthood

Habits, often unconscious patterns of behavior, are deeply embedded in our daily lives. They can determine success, health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction. As the transition from adolescence to young adulthood occurs, the dynamics of life shift drastically. Responsibilities increase, independence becomes paramount, and the realization that life’s outcomes are largely a result of our own actions begins to dawn. This makes it essential to reevaluate old habits and foster new ones that better align with our evolving goals.

The Importance of Developing Good Habits in Young Adulthood:

  1. Foundation for Future: The habits established in young adulthood often serve as the bedrock for future behaviors. What might seem insignificant at 20 can shape the trajectory of one’s 30s, 40s, and beyond.
  2. Coping Mechanisms: As young adults navigate the challenges of this transformative phase, good habits can act as effective coping mechanisms, ensuring mental well-being and resilience.
  3. Achieving Long-term Goals: Good habits act as steady contributors to the realization of long-term aspirations, be it career success, financial stability, or personal growth.

Steps to Develop Good Habits:

  1. Self-assessment: Begin by identifying your current habits. Which of them are beneficial? Which are detrimental? This reflection is vital for understanding where change is needed.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Understand what you want to achieve in the immediate future and in the long run. This clarity will guide your habit formation.
  3. Start Small: Overwhelming oneself with too many changes can lead to quick burnout. Focus on one habit at a time, allowing it to solidify before moving on to the next.
  4. Consistency is Key: A habit is formed through repetition. Dedicate yourself to consistent practice, even if progress seems slow.
  5. Accountability: Share your goals with a trusted friend or family member who can help keep you on track.
  6. Celebrate Milestones: Recognizing and celebrating small victories can act as motivation to maintain and develop new positive habits.

Overcoming Obstacles in Habit Formation:

  1. Expect Setbacks: No journey is without its challenges. Anticipate setbacks but view them as learning opportunities rather than failures.
  2. Stay Flexible: If a particular approach isn’t working, be open to adapting and trying something different.
  3. Seek Inspiration: Read about successful individuals, join a group focused on a particular habit, or attend workshops. Surrounding yourself with positivity and motivation can greatly aid the process.

Maintaining Good Habits:

  1. Regular Reflection: Continuously evaluate your progress. This not only helps in identifying areas of improvement but also reinforces positive behaviors.
  2. Routine: Structure can greatly aid habit maintenance. Create a daily routine that incorporates your new habits.
  3. Stay Updated: As life changes, the habits that serve you best might change too. Stay updated with new methodologies, research, and insights to ensure that your habits are always aligned with your goals.

Developing good habits during young adulthood is not just about immediate benefits but about shaping a future that aligns with one’s aspirations. With determination, consistency, and a willingness to adapt, young adults can lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and successful life journey.


  • Set clear, tangible goals for yourself.
  • Track your progress.
  • Stay disciplined, but also allow yourself the flexibility to change.

3. Cultivating Focus

“Your focus becomes your reality.” This age-old saying holds undeniable truth. If you’re constantly feeding your mind negativity or distractions, that’s what your life will reflect.

Cultivating Focus: Your Lens to Reality

In an age inundated with distractions, maintaining focus can often seem like a herculean task. As we transition into adulthood, our priorities multiply, pulling our attention in countless directions. The adage, “Your focus becomes your reality,” emphasizes the importance of attention and concentration, highlighting that where we channel our energy invariably shapes our experiences and outcomes.

The Power of Focus in Shaping Reality:

  1. Manifestation of Goals: A focused mind can chart a clear path towards realizing aspirations. When our energies are channeled towards specific goals, the chances of attaining them significantly increase.
  2. Quality Over Quantity: Doing multiple things might give an illusion of productivity, but focus ensures that tasks undertaken are done with precision, depth, and quality.
  3. Mental Well-being: A scattered mind can lead to anxiety, stress, and dissatisfaction. Conversely, a focused mind promotes calmness, clarity, and a sense of accomplishment.

Challenges to Cultivating Focus:

  1. Digital Distractions: With smartphones, social media, and the internet, the barrage of information and notifications can be relentless.
  2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): This modern-day syndrome can push individuals to spread their attention thin, attempting to be everywhere and do everything.
  3. Overcommitting: Whether it’s due to societal pressures or personal ambitions, taking on more than one can handle can dilute focus.

Strategies to Cultivate and Maintain Focus:

  1. Prioritization: Understand what truly matters. List down tasks based on their significance, ensuring that crucial tasks receive your undivided attention.
  2. Digital Detox: Allocate specific times in the day to disconnect from all digital devices. This not only reduces distractions but also allows the mind to recharge.
  3. Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and journaling can train the mind to stay present, enhancing focus.
  4. Break Tasks into Manageable Units: Instead of viewing tasks as monolithic challenges, breaking them down can make them more manageable, allowing for increased concentration.
  5. Eliminate Multitasking: While it might seem efficient, multitasking often reduces the quality of work and diminishes focus. Tackle one task at a time.
  6. Create a Conducive Environment: A clutter-free, organized workspace can significantly enhance focus. Consider factors like lighting, noise levels, and comfort when setting up a workspace.
  7. Regular Breaks: The Pomodoro Technique, which involves working intensively for 25 minutes followed by a 5-minute break, can help in maintaining sustained attention.

Guarding Against Negativity:

  1. Selective Consumption: Be conscious of the content you consume, whether it’s news, entertainment, or social media. Ensure that it aligns with your values and goals.
  2. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with individuals and communities that uplift and inspire rather than drain and demotivate.
  3. Affirmations: Start the day with positive affirmations. Reinforcing positive beliefs can steer focus away from negativity.

Cultivating focus is more than just a means to achieve productivity; it’s a tool to shape one’s reality. In a world rife with distractions, the ability to hone one’s focus becomes a prized asset. By adopting the right strategies and guarding the mind against negativity, one can navigate life with clarity, purpose, and fulfillment.


  • Limit time on social media and avoid the comparison trap.
  • Engage in activities that require concentration, such as reading, writing, or meditation.

4. Seeking Guidance

There’s no shame in admitting that you don’t have all the answers. In fact, the most successful people are those who continuously seek knowledge and guidance.

Seeking Guidance: The Path to Enlightened Decision-Making

The journey from adolescence to young adulthood is marked by myriad choices, challenges, and opportunities. While personal intuition and experience play a role, seeking external guidance can provide invaluable insights. Acknowledging that one does not have all the answers is not a sign of weakness, but of maturity and wisdom. Indeed, history showcases that the most accomplished individuals have often been those who actively sought out advice and mentorship.

The Value of Seeking Guidance:

  1. Expanding Perspectives: Guidance offers a fresh lens through which to view challenges, broadening one’s horizons and facilitating better decision-making.
  2. Avoiding Pitfalls: Those who guide often have experience and can provide warnings about potential obstacles, helping to navigate challenges more efficiently.
  3. Accountability: A mentor or guide can act as a sounding board, ensuring that you stay true to your goals and commitments.
  4. Building Confidence: With guidance, one can move forward with greater assurance, knowing that their decisions are backed by informed advice.

Where to Seek Guidance:

  1. Mentors: Individuals who have experience in your field of interest can offer specialized insights, guidance, and connections. They can be found in professional settings, academic institutions, or even among family and friends.
  2. Professional Counselors and Life Coaches: These experts are trained to provide advice on personal development, career growth, and other life decisions.
  3. Books and Literature: Autobiographies, self-help books, and academic literature can offer guidance on a variety of topics.
  4. Workshops and Seminars: Attending focused events can provide insights into specific areas of interest.
  5. Peer Groups: Sometimes, guidance doesn’t necessarily come from those with more experience but from peers who are navigating similar challenges.

Approaching Guidance with Openness:

  1. Be Receptive: While seeking advice, it’s essential to be open-minded. One might not always hear what they hope to, but every piece of advice can offer value.
  2. Ask Probing Questions: Passive listening isn’t enough. Engage actively by asking questions to gain a deeper understanding.
  3. Assess and Reflect: Not all advice will be suitable for every individual. Take time to contemplate guidance received and assess its relevance to your unique situation.

Balancing Guidance with Personal Intuition:

  1. Internalize, Don’t Imitate: Use the guidance as a resource, but adapt it to fit your individual circumstances. Blind imitation can lead to incongruence with one’s authentic self.
  2. Trust Your Gut: While external advice is valuable, it’s equally crucial to trust one’s instincts. Sometimes, the gut can sense what the mind cannot articulate.
  3. Seek Multiple Opinions: Don’t rely on just one source. Multiple perspectives can provide a more rounded view of a situation, aiding in more informed decision-making.

The path to success and fulfillment is rarely a solitary one. By actively seeking guidance, individuals not only enrich their understanding but also fortify their decisions with collective wisdom. In an ever-evolving world, the thirst for knowledge and guidance remains a constant companion to success. Recognizing this is the first step toward a life of informed, enlightened choices.


  • Attend workshops or seminars in your field of interest.
  • Consider therapy or life coaching. These professionals can offer strategies tailored to your unique circumstances.


While it’s crucial to acknowledge that life doesn’t adhere to a one-size-fits-all approach, the “Make You, Break You” phase is undeniably significant. By recognizing its importance, aligning with positive influences, and actively shaping one’s habits and focus, individuals can set themselves on a path of growth, fulfillment, and success. Remember, this isn’t about dictating what your life should be, but offering a perspective to help you create the best version of it.

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