Acknowledge: Acknowledge what your client is saying and respond positively to the things that are true, demonstrating your empathy towards their experiences.
Paraphrase: Reiterate what you hear your client say. This takes a bit of interpretation and a bunch of intuition.
Ask the “duh” questions: Engage your client in having a detailed discussion about the obvious elements of their situation. A clearer understanding benefits both parties.
Look at the big picture: It is necessary to step back from the situation in order to see the larger picture. Everything happens within a particular context.
Identify the ideal: By talking about the ultimate goals, we outline what success looks like—what the situation entails, the emotions that stem from the success, and the ultimate outcomes.
Clarify: It is important to keep the conversation going and always spell out what you hear the client saying. You need to be on the same page the whole time.
Define the process and your role: Keep in mind that this process is for the client; make sure you clarify your role as a coach and help keep the session focused.
Explore strategies: Suggest multiple ways of handling a situation. Make sure you engage the client in the discussion and be open to thinking outside of the box. Unconventional is often innovative.
Listen and Reflect: Never stop reiterating what you hear your client say. Engaged listening is all about being attuned to what your client not only says, but what they feel. You are a translator. Also, take the time to refocus the discussion.
